3 rules for discipline

It’s important to be in agreement and have boundaries and rules for the way you discipline.  Whether you are flying solo, or have a partner in this parenting journey, I believe it’s essential to communicate and write down your personal plan for discipline and ask yourself : Where do you draw the line?  What is unacceptable?  Having this tool will hold you accountable when you’ve reached your brink, and when your  Ugly Red Button gets pushed.

We are NOT perfect parents (far from it), and are still learning and adding to our toolbox every day.  Unfortunately, some of these amazing rules get broken.  But they are there, and in place, and I know when I need to apologize to my little people for crossing the line we said we won’t cross.

In our house we have 3 Rules we’ve gathered in our almost 5 short years of parenting that we keep in our back pocket. (Yes, just three to offer up so far – we’re still learning as we go – waiting for that instruction manual to turn up – until then – we just do the best we can with what we have)

Rule #1: Don’t React, Respond!
Speak with love.  If you are too angry to respond with the love and respect you yourself would deserve if you were in those little shoes, take a time out.  Find somewhere you can just take a few breaths, perhaps a splash of cool water on your face, or maybe even just a good cry on your bed, revisit the situation when you know you can respond and model to those little people “self-control”.

Rule #2: Be Realistic and Offer Choices
Don’t make impossible threats.  “If you don’t eat all of your supper, you won’t get supper for a week”.  Well, that’s not realistic.  They know they’ll be joining you at the dinner table for another roast to refuse the very next night.  (We actually have very great little eaters who eat up all their brussel sprouts and asparagus on a regular basis, but mix a whole bunch of things in a creamy casserole, and it’s THE end of the world.)
Be realistic and if you’re going to take something away, try to make it a natural consequence.
“I see you’re having a hard time settling into bed this evening, your choices are to settle in with bunny and blanket now, or mommy and daddy will take bunny and blanket for the night, which do you choose?”
“It looks like you’re not really into your dinner tonight.  We have a yummy dessert prepared for you.  Your choices are to finish your supper and enjoy your dessert, or you can decide to be done with dinner and have no dessert, what do you choose?”
My favourite for grumpy little people.
“We want to have a happy time with you, but you aren’t seeming too happy at the moment.  You can stay with us and be happy, or you can go to your room, which do you choose?  Happy? or bed?”
By offering choices, you’re giving your child the power to make a choice.  So when they continue to not eat the rest of their dinner, they’ve communicated “no dessert”.  When they are still being a little monkey jumping on the bed, they’ve chosen to miss out on having they’re favourite blanket to sleep with.  When they are still being grumpy, they’ve chosen to be alone away from the rest of the group.
Let’s face it.  You may think you’re in control, but the only one that controls me, is me.  Soon enough, the only person that controls these little people, will be themselves!  I want to train them up to have the ability to make great choices for themselves!

Rule #3: Don’t Belittle The Offender
Remember the shame that comes with getting in trouble in front of someone else? The embarrassment? The ridicule?
Don’t squash someone’s spirit to make a point.
We need to remember that these little people haven’t lived all the life you have.  There’s a world to discover.  They are learning each and everyday how to do life.  Treat them with love and respect, even when you feel they don’t deserve it.  My best lessons have been learned through receiving grace rather than being shamed.  I know it’s easier said than done.  But sometimes it’s just a matter of having the tools to ponder on, so that at least you can go back and apologize when you’ve wronged your own child.

Does your family have Rules that hold you accountable?

 

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corporate business portrait – brian belleth

By Monday, September 8, 2014 0 No tags Permalink 0

With social media being so prominent these days, having a great portrait for all your social profiles, business cards, or portfolios is a must!  It’s a small investment for having a great image as the face behind your product (whatever that may be).

Brian Belleth is a wealth of talent.  Founder of K2K Productions, an excellent program that has been blessing kids through the arts for the last decade (you can learn more about Brian’s Ministry with K2K here), he needed an updated portrait for his auditions at the Drayton festival! We attended a  fundraising concert recently with many talents including Brian.  Have you ever been to a concert and thought, “OH MY GOODNESS, EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE HERE!  THE WHOLE WORLD IS MISSING OUT ON THIS!!!”?  That’s how I felt when I heard those voices giving it their all and the musicians playing so skillfully. I see audiences of thousands when I see this man perform with his crew! God is at work, using this man and his, dream!  I remember being their when K2K was just a baby being born.  It’s astonishing to see it all coming to life when it seemed so BIG and crazy at the beginning! Contact me to update your business portrait! Business portrait packages start at $300.  Inquire here. BrianBelleth1 BrianBelleth2

about me

By Wednesday, June 4, 2014 0 No tags Permalink 0

Life is full of opportunities to live and grow and become a better person.  Every day is an opportunity to wake up and decide to make the choice to be better than the day before. Easier said than done, I admit, but it’s truth.  If I could be brutally honest with you, without Christ and the everyday miracles and gifts of grace I’m so graciously given time and time again, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I seriously wouldn’t know how to put one foot in front of the other. It’s day by day that my roles as wife, mother, creator, and servant shape me and challenge me to live in His love and grace.

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My husband calls me “wife”. I’m a wife on a mission to strengthen what I have with my main squeeze.  Marriage is tough.  Seriously though.  Before we marry, there should be some sort of course…with a test at the end. I can pretty much guarantee that the blending of two lives is not as easy as you expect.  There will be differences.  If you are equipped to face those differences with some essential tools in your back pocket, you will love more deeply, you will weather the storms, and you will provide an amazing example for your future generations.  You will create a legacy.  You will find some of the tools from my “healthy marriage toolbox” here.

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My babies call me “Momma”.  I’m a mom on a mission to be the best mom I can be. To provide my children with love, tenderness, compassion, and life lessons through day to day life.  Parenting is the most DIFFICULT and REWARDING job I have ever had.  Some days I’m extremely thankful we made it to the end of the day and are all in bed alive safe and sound.  Other days I feel like supermom for all I have accomplished in a day.  I hope you find encouragement in parenting through some of my experiences here.

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My sister in laws call me “Artsy Fartsy”. I’m an artist.  I’m pretty sure I was born to create!  I bet as an infant I just couldn’t wait till my hands could do all I wanted them to do!  My artsy fartsy resume includes woodworking, pottery, knitting, painting, sewing, design and photography.  I’ve been a photographer capturing weddings, new life, families, and portraits for 7 years now.  You can find my most recent work here!

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 My mother in law thinks I’m “A Gourmet Chef”. I love to create in the kitchen. While J finds therapy cutting the lawn, working in the gardens, and doing dishes (I know, I know…I lucked out), I find my therapy making a big giant mess cooking and baking in the kitchen.  J gave me a recipe box one year for Christmas, and since then it’s filled up with laminated (yes…I laminate them) recipe cards with my most coveted recipes!  You’ll find some of my most favourite recipes here.  About 5 years ago, I began my own Epicure Business which has helped make my every day gourmet!  I love providing others with a healthy alternative and quick and easy meal solutions.  Life can be so busy!  But when you can throw together a home-cooked meal AND dessert in 15 minutes or less, it’s a job well done! And Good Enough To Eat!

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God calls me his “Beloved”. (Song of Songs 2:16)  My life’s journey is discovering and uncovering all the ways He loves me.  There’s still quite a bit of dirt to dust off this life of mine, but His faithfulness will see me through.

“Beautiful Things” by Gungor

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